Murphy's Law for Karate
1. The wimp who made it through the elimination's on luck alone, will
suddenly turn into Bruce Lee when you're up against him.
2. The referee will always be looking the other way when you score.
3. You will have trouble with the ties on your gi when members of the
opposite sex are in class.
4. The day you leave home early to make it to class in time the Sensei
will be sick.
5. The Sensei will only use you to demonstrate joint-locking techniques.
6. If you have to use your training in self defence, your attacker's
father will be a lawyer.
7. After a flawless demonstration, you will trip on your way back to your
seat.
8. After years of training without a single injury, you will pull a
muscle the night before your black belt exam.
9. No matter how many times you take care of it beforehand, you will
always have to go to the bathroom when it's your turn during belt promotion
exams.
You Know You're Hooked on Karate When . . .
Do you wake up Saturday mornings stiff and sore? Is another night like Friday night the only thing that will make you feel better? Do you workout alone? Do you find that once you've thrown a jab, you can't stop until you've followed it with a reverse punch? If so, you may be (gasp!!) HOOKED ON KARATE.
How do you know? Here are a few clues.
1. You know you're hooked when the first word out of your parrot's
mouth is KIAI!, and you teach your cat how to free spar.
2. You know you're hooked when you have more bruises than a rugby hooker,
and you still go back for more.
3. You know you're hooked when you shut the refrigerator door with a side
thrust kick.
4. You know you're hooked when you shop for clothes based on whether you
can kick in them.
5. You know you're hooked when the only clothes you'll wear are gi.
6. You know you're hooked when you actually crave a beach workout.
7. You know you're hooked when the books on your bedside cabinet are by
authors like Gichin Funakoshi, Hirokazu Kanazawa and Musashi Miyamoto.
8. You know you're hooked when the Twelve Days of Christmas becomes: one
boxing bag, two boxing gloves, three shin pads (includes an extra pad for the
one you'll inevitably lose), four Tokaido gi, five rolls of adhesive tape
.... twelve cases of Tiger Balm.
9. You know you're hooked when you look for a place to live based on the
amount of practice space it provides.
10. You know you're hooked when you refuse to wear shoes.
You might be a martial artist if....
1. You find yourself casually standing in a half cat stance.
2. You trip, go into a roll and come up in a fighting stance..... in
church.
3. You answer your boss/school teacher by saying "Ussss".
4. You put your hands together in a martial arts bow position (one hand
open the other closed) after grace at the dinner table.
5. You tie your bathrobe belt in a square knot. Then check to make sure
the ends are exactly even.
6. You accept change from the cashier at Tesco's using a perfect knife
hand with the thumb carefully tucked in.
7. Every time you handle a screwdriver or craft knife, etc. you just
can't help changing your grip from hammer to reverse to flip over to dagger grip
etc. And the shop assistant is standing cautiously far, far away from you.
8. When you're outside doing landscaping/gardening you "practice" with
all the neat weapons.
Top Ten Reasons for Studying the Martial Arts
1. Broken masonry makes great drainage for potted plants.
2. Get beaten up by people half your size and twice your age.
3. Never run out of kindling wood again.
4. No need to wonder what belt to wear.
5. Get to be on first name basis with the Emergency Room staff.
6. These uniforms make nice warm pyjamas.
7. Never need to wonder why it's hard to get up in the morning.
8. Get to appreciate the finer points of Chuck Norris' acting.
9. Learn to count to 10 in 3 different Asian languages.
10. You get to star in tacky TV commercials.